the pelican

once more with feeling

in the midst

can you feel it?

there is something about this last bit of winter before the spring. you can feel the tornadoes brewing. plants are ready to burst through the surface. one day it snows and the next day it’s too hot for this sweater. cabin fever. spring fever. the time change. light growing and shifting. everything is itchy and twitchy and ready to break out of the ice and tear into the light of the warming sun. clouds swelling with rain. electricity. the time of mud and wind and thunder. the straining labor pains of pent-up stored-up hormones and gametes and bulbs and roots and seeds and buds and eggs. the end of hibernation. everything is pacing in its cage waiting for spring to be unleashed upon the world. it is the buildup. the anticipation. the struggling waiting waiting hoping waiting waxing towards the full moon.

we are waiting for the resurrection. the eternal return. the completion of the cycle. the screaming kicking painful swift imminent birth of the wild ram. the revolution of the earth. the circle of life.

well it is almost here. you can smell it. practically taste it. the times they are a-changing. the tides are turning. the seasons melding mixing morphing. the perspective is shifting.

it’s just before the wake-up time.

squabbling and worrying and everybody’s planning spring break vacations and busy so busy so slammed at work. a trial approaching in april. chaos and grief. and in the midst of so much stress so much work so much worry about my own petty stuff my best friend’s dad died on the same day on the anniversary on the same day my favorite crazy aunt died on the same day the anniversary on the same day my close dear wonderful friend mentor holy man father brother santa claus on vacation counselor shaman buddy died. beware the ides of march for they are upon us.

the last cold grip of wiinter takes another life as the push of spring prepares to give birth.

round and round we go.

yeah and so also going on also did the boulder county assembly. oh the comedy. the slow and messy running behind schedule committee participation herding cats sort of tangled chaos that is this most lovable and cherished aspect of democracy. speeches and protocol and parliamentary parlez-vous mental break-downery procedure of ayes and nays and seconds and everybody’s got ideas and instructions and opinions and convictions and concerns and what a turn-out what a tremendous and amazing fiasco of harmony and cooperation and egos and personalities in search of a common ground a connection a love a bridge a compromise a truth an awareness a mutual path of all the hearts combined towards the ever elusive victory in which love conquers all and the universe is made safe for democracy and everybody feels that they’ve been heard and done their best and all the best interests of our brothers and sisters have been looked after and the world will be a better place because of all the time and effort and hard work and volunteers in tightly packed auditoriums and gymnasiums and libraries and schools all poured into one giant conglomeration for the meeting of hearts and minds running just a couple minutes a half an hour an hour two hours almost three hours behind schedule with guest speakers and man that was an entire saturday but somebody’s got to clean up the massive wallpapering of all the hillary placard poster sticker tree-killing littering every nook and cranny in the place. the place was utterly coated in hillary junk but boulder county went i think the final tally was something like 76 or 78 percent obama, yeah.

should have gone into work on sunday. so much work to do trials to prepare for witnesses to subpoena and records to gather and exhibits to organize and trial management orders to agree upon and expert reports submitted and investigators to be called in and jury notebooks to be made and there will have to be artwork and presentations and additional materials and prep time set aside and meanwhile the rest of all the other cases are going on and deadlines are going off and there are eulogies to write and funerals to attend and people to take care of and family crises in the works and a niece threatening to move out her house and in with us and the cats are climbing the furniture tearing at the curtains to get outside and throw themselves on the grass and get into fights with other cats over their territory which suddenly needs additional defending and gardens to weed and clean and prepare and oh the dust and the dirt and the buildup and the need for spring cleaning and sweeping out of the old leaves and friends coming down from the mountains for the equinox celebration and the inevitable family easter dinner happy feuding families with potentially new moved-in visiting boyfriends and chocolate bunnies and deviled eggs and oh dear lord but i do need to mop this floor and so on we go and here come and there it goes and oh can you feel it?

the sun will return. the hemisphere will heat up. the flowers will bloom.

oh the great build-up. the pressure. the inevitability. will we make it?

on the brink. at the edge.

the tibetans break out ahead of it all and they rise up. they speak out. oh china china china. not looking too good these days. no. looking pretty darn bad, truth be told. serious lack of wisdom and judgment. you’ve just got to know that nobody is buying the ridiculous idea that his holiness the dalai lama has or ever would ever ever ever advocate violence. even karl rove would have to admit there’s no way to spin this one for china. better not hurt those people. you can close off the internet and shut out the public and we know what you’re trying to hide as fast as you can. we cry for them we worry we pray we can only imagine the worst and most horrible things are happening to the tibetans who dared to stand in their own truth to stand up to tyranny and oppression to speak their own truth which maybe conflicts with how it is to be exploited and used but it is their own and it has been for many years and it has not subsided it can not be squelched it has not been conquered they have never given up they have never stopped trying they are standing up they are straining they are suffering they have had enough. oh china. it’s time to wake up. time to grow up. time to realize you can not sweep this one under the rug. the more you try to keep it secret and manipulate the reality, the more powerful the truth becomes.

and that’s the thing about truth maybe. it will out, as they say. yeah i think it will.

just like flowers in the spring.

yeah and so obama. as if there was ever any doubt. not for me, i guess. i knew it on contact. perhaps that is the way it is for those of us labeled as bobble heads. but regardless of what happens whether or not we manage to do the right thing truly this speech will be read and re-read and read aloud. it will be taught in history and speech and theatre and civics. we will remember what he said what he tried to do how he addressed it how he faced it head on what he said how he did it. now it is clear. can it really happen? so you know they come at him they scream they sensationalize they grip onto this like they’ve finally finally FINALLY got something on him. and they snap and they snarl and the hate spews and the lines are drawn and the sickness is spreading and the yellow waxy buildup and so he stands up. he speaks. he doesn’t scream or blame the media or point fingers or say shame on you shame on you. nope. he takes it on. on himself. he looks within. he doesn’t even argue with it. he simply speaks. he says what it is. what it’s all about. he is calm. he is wise. he is thoughtful. and he lays it all on the line. he says you guys want to hold me responsible take me down run me down because of a few extreme statements of my firey pastor well let me explain it all for you. let me draw you a picture. let me tell you about what it is to be me, where i came from, how i came to be who i am. let me show you something. and in the midst of this dirt storm tornado of hate and race and fear and pointing fingers and self-righteous indignation and spin and media sensationalization he is nothing but the picture of sheer and utter grace and eloquence. i mean he’s got a ten or twenty headed fire breathing dragon coming at him and he says ok let’s look within and figure this out together. let’s take a look. a closer look. let’s try to understand in order to forgive and get beyond this great impasse. let’s try to see how we must work together try to bridge the gap. reconcile the divide. let’s just look into this. let’s acknowledge what we got going on here. let’s start to examine where all this stuff is leading us. let’s take responsibility for ourselves for our future for our children for our perception for our ignorance for our fears for our hopes and dreams and let’s do the right thing. and can this magnificent speech clear up all the fear and hate and anger and wave it all away magically? oh it would be lovely but of course not. but who else has dared to stare it in the face so and speak out? and where else can we begin? where it goes what we do with it how it is used well you see the rest is up to us. he’s willing to help us. he’s trying to take responsibility. and he’s asking us to do the same. there is a choice to be made. a path to take.

and yes it’s just words.

words. words. words.

only words.

like all the opinions and articles and reports and editorials and comments. only words.

like the constitution. only words. declaration of independence? words. pledge of allegiance? oaths? statutes? philosophy? literature and law and history and the whole of human discourse? words. only words.

or like the authorization for the use of military force in iraq. only words.

the arbitrary labels and sounds and symbols and signs given to all that we feel the need to try to communicate. that’s all. just words.

the anniversary of the iraq war. five long years. and what have we got? and at what cost? how many lives how great the sacrifice how can it end how did this happen where is our conscience who will guide us out of this darkness and into the light?

yeah maybe something’s happening. the spring is coming. a new day. a new way. a new focus.

deep in the earth, out of the compost of all our past karma will grow into the future that we are about to create.

can you feel it?

will we take care? will we listen to our hearts? will we do the right thing? will we be able to recognize it?

this time. this amount of time. what to do within the time available. these things that happen. these lives these identities this creation and destruction and all this. all of this. and oh the comings and goings into and out of existence and all these intersections and juxtapositions and combinations and possibilities and chemical reactions and movement movement movement so much movement and so much chaos so much change and yet there is this continuity for the moment within this perception there is a sense of all that which endures what lives in memories what is held in the heart and felt and smelled and grasped and released and eaten and wasted and what is chosen and what is discarded and what is found and what is lost and what is saved.

the return of the sun. the warming. the greening.

and old life ends.

a new life begins.

we are what we are.

in the midst.

posted by: limine at 19:43 | link | comments (5) |

dancing

TODAY

I
Do not
Want to step so quickly
Over a beautiful line on Beloved's palm
As I move through the earth's
Marketplace
Today.

I do not want to touch any object in this world
Without my eyes testifying to the truth
That everything is
My Beloved.

Something has happened
To my understanding of existence
That now makes my heart always full of wonder
And kindness.

I do not
Want to step so quickly
Over this sacred place on Beloved's body
That is right beneath my
Own foot

As I
Dance with
Precious life
Today.

~Hafiz


Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Peace, for example, starts within each one of us.

~His Holiness the Dalai Lama



Without the rigidity of concepts, the world becomes transparent and illuminated, as though lit from within. With this understanding, the interconnectedness of all that lives becomes very clear. We see that nothing is stagnant and nothing is fully separate, that who we are, what we are, is intimately woven into the nature of life itself. Out of this sense of connection, love and compassion arise.

~Sharon Salzberg



(today's daily dharma message, buddhist wisdom quote and living compassion quote -- all dancing together.)

posted by: limine at 08:53 | link | comments (5) |

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