the pelican

once more with feeling

make a wish

how it is. how it was. how it could be.

how can it all be . . .

things to do things to say things to get done. people to see. scheduled stuff. weekend plans and mother’s day and concert tickets and dusty house and stacks and stacks of books and laundry and yardwork and watching the clock watching the clock time’s a-wasting.

a certain amount of brief introspection, ever so important to maintain an awareness of mind.

there is a need to indulge. to acknowledge the need for understanding. to sort things out.

what is it that is happening? why does it hurt?

nick lowe says you got to be cruel to be kind. it means that i love you.

but it had a feel to it. something not quite identifiable. attraction and repulsion. the dance. the tango. the act itself.

but there was more. something else. something much deeper. something at the core.

ascension and then the descent. incarnation. the compassion before moksha. a return.

limitless. selfless. honest and true.

a sense of purity in purpose.

luminescence.

maybe it was love.

it was.

it is.

there it is.

a constant within the ebb and flow, the flux, the waves of emotion. one strong bass note. a magnetic force that pulls the return to earth. into the depths of sensation and the bright shining light of perception.

the unmoved mover.

presto change-o and voila.

this roller coaster of life these highs and lows this in breath and out breath.

to feel. to see. to smile.

pressing through. a desire to experience. a desire to share. a desire to serve.

to be of use. to be needed. to fill a void. have a purpose. provide a meaning.

such bittersweet longing always out of reach unrequited grasping grasping grasping striving towards the object the object the object of desire.

but it’s only desire.

intention.

probably just trying to make it interesting for the witness. it’s all part of the show. the magic. the illusion. the distraction.

but at the heart at the heart where everywhere is the center at the heart at the heart there it is.

the experience will always come full circle with a conscious return.

there is no going back. we believe there is a forward but really it is only an onward.

but the awareness is where the bright shining moments live.

so whatever the outcome let me have no regrets. let whatever comes be seen for the beauty that it brings. let all the pain and sorrow be transformed with compassion and understanding. let everything pass as it should as it will as it does. let the searching the striving the struggling be done.

may the dance continue forever and ever.

amen.

posted by: limine at 12:03 | link | comments (3) |

Comments:

#1  13 May 2006 - 12:21

 

thank you.

InMyLife

#2  13 May 2006 - 23:08

 

Beautiful. I feel very much in tune with those sentiments tonight.

"but it's only desire" - I wish I could look at it that way.

spartanjen

#3  14 May 2006 - 14:39

 

i had to look up moksha. good word. so happy you're back in full force.

rustymadgal

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